if I told you I knew a girl like that you wouldn’t
believe me, you’d get angry and curse and, like
that one time when I said I met Chubby Checker
as a kid (me a kid not Chubby), you’d give me the
finger, which seemed a silly thing, me standing 2
feet from you and you with your middle finger up
like I cut you off in traffic.
but if I told you I knew a girl like that you wouldn’t
believe me, you’d get jealous and say O yeah? well
I once kissed Candice Bergen.
why you picked Candice Bergen I don’t know, not that
she isn’t a handsome woman, she is, especially back
in the Carnal Knowledge days, but Candice Bergen? are
you sure that’s your pick out of all the beautiful women
since and before?
but really, this is my poem, and we all know from reading
these types of poems that the you is collective and just an
extension of the me, so yes it’s me who has a thing for Candice
Bergen, not you, so my apologies, you can like who you like,
and if it’s Ms. Bergen we have something in common and no
wonder I write so many poems about you.
if I did tell you I knew a girl like that you wouldn’t believe me
and who can blame you? I’ve been known to fib and make things
up and wander off point like Hansel without breadcrumbs, but
really, I do know a girl like that, so just let me have that and let
me ride this poem
like a cowboy, like a horse, like a cowboy on a horse into the