there's no one to blame but me.
I get myself into these situations,
there must be reasons, deep and hidden
that would explain everything
(my mother didn't hug me enough, hugged me
too much, the babysitter stared too long at my
penis while getting me ready for bed, those types
but I really don't want some things explained, it's
too late now to try and dissect. let's just say
I get myself into these situations and it's my fault
and whatever the reasons are are unimportant,
and leave it at that.
but the situation: one day this phonecall.
hi! we met before. I must apologize, because
you don't remember me, I would guess. but I
liked your style and I'm looking to expand my
business. it's become too much for me to
handle. it's growing too quickly. I need to share
the workload AND of course the wealth. hahaha.
is that something you'd be interested in?
and because my spine doesn't exist (see above
for explanation, or the reason for lack of one),
I say Sure.
GREAT! let me drop off some info, what time would
be good...etc., etc., etc.
he comes by and
he talks too much
too easily, I distrust social
skills like his, though he seems
nice enough, and on some “T” words
he has a slight stutter that makes him
slightly more human, but the whole time
I'm just wishing he wasn't in my kitchen
talking about the things he's talking about
and I think of the things I should say to
make him leave but nothing comes out.
eventually he leaves on his own and I say
to my wife Don't you think what he does
goes against who I am? what I stand for?
and she doesn't know what I'm talking about,
what I'm saying, she doesn't understand what
I mean and it's not her fault, but what's the
use of having a personal philosophy if
no one knows you have one.